a dream

June 4, 2008

help!

 

 

The night before last, one part of the dream I remember is my boyfriend pushing me out of bed.

I got back in and he pushed me out again, and I ended up, wrapped in blankets, on the floor.

 

 

What does this mean?

Does this mean I feel like he is pushing me over the edge?
Am I letting him take the blame for me falling off the edge?
I woke up angry yesterday because of this, and ended up crying almost all day.

 

And no, the psychologist never did call back.  
I tried another one, and left another message.

Still no answer.

 

Why is it so hard to reach out for help? 

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help

June 3, 2008

i made the call.

I set it up with my insurance.

 

I left…. a message for a potential therapist.

 

Crap.  It seems like everytime I give an effort to give a shit about myself,
I don’t get anywhere.   I get the answering machine and then I have to wait.

Its been over 2 hours since I left a call, and since then, my boyfriend has told me that I need to put more effort into making more money so I can contribute more otherwise our relationship will not work out.

God I need a therapist. Please have her call back soon before I do something regrettable.