I think this is all bullshit.

I just wrote a check for rent from my dwindling checking account, still have not found a job, and for that matter, just don’t want to.  Thinking of getting something stupid like a waitressing job while i figure things out. I just know I can’t pay rent for September.

I have been thinking of moving to some artsy community, finding a cheap place to live, and working in a studio and selling art. I want to get off all my meds, even birth control.  I want to stop depending on my car so much.  I want to stop spending more than 75% of my (former)income on rent and utilities and food.  I want to simplify.  

I just dont want to be here.

 

I want to leave.

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This is my last week at this job.

I had a bit of a breakdown last Tuesday and Wednesday, but regained focus late on Thursday afternoon.

What a fantastic weekend!  Not to mention it was a holiday weekend, but it was great.  I wish weekends were 5 days a week, and the work week was only 2 days.  I would be able to handle that.

So I got my resume updated, and have sent it out to many places already.   So far, not one response.  It’s okay, I just started sending it out on Sunday, it is only Tuesday (trying to make myself feel better).

OH please let me get a job soon.  And not one that sucks.  Preferably with great benefits, at a higher salary/wage.  Ooo with paid vacations.  In a relaxed environment.  With cool people.

 

oh please….

my day job

April 8, 2008

Let us start out with my full time job, shall we?

It came about randomly, through an online job search, at a time I was desperate and applying at temp agencies, thinking about waitressing, prostitution, selling a kidney, etc…

 

Not a bad job, pays pretty well, kind of creative (or used to be)

and well, I’m the only one here!

 

Normally, being the unsocial privacy whore I am, I would see this as a great time to have full concentration, freedom from onlookers, the ability to scratch myself in unseen places with ease, and generally an all around zen resort environment to work in.

 

And perhaps having free time to check emails, read the news, and catch up with the latest on my favorite blogs isn’t so bad… perhaps zoning out for 20 minutes at a time, searching for my dream loft apartment that costs more per month than I make a year, and searching for reference photos for my other clients while on the clock for this job isn’t bad at all. 

And it’s not.

It’s kind of nice.  Comfortable even.

 

Maybe a little too comfortable.

If I were my boss, I would fire me.

 

Which is why I am trying to work for myself, a whole other sack of potatoes.

more on this subject another day.