a dream

June 4, 2008

help!

 

 

The night before last, one part of the dream I remember is my boyfriend pushing me out of bed.

I got back in and he pushed me out again, and I ended up, wrapped in blankets, on the floor.

 

 

What does this mean?

Does this mean I feel like he is pushing me over the edge?
Am I letting him take the blame for me falling off the edge?
I woke up angry yesterday because of this, and ended up crying almost all day.

 

And no, the psychologist never did call back.  
I tried another one, and left another message.

Still no answer.

 

Why is it so hard to reach out for help? 

Y’know, in the beginning of this campaign. Having the two main democratic heavyweight contenders be such history-making phenomenons, I was excited.  I liked Hillary Clinton, because, not knowing much about her except for the fact she was a strong woman, a senator, a wife of a playa, etc, she was an amazing acheivement to get this far- taking me back to the days when I was a child:

“and what would you like to be when you grow up?”

“I want to be president”

“ha ha ha. Silly girl, your brother could be President, but I am afraid you can’t.  You’re a girl”

“thats the only reason?”

“yes”

 

“whaaaaaaaaaaa!”

 

Not that I would be a great leader of this country, for I am much to scandalous and introverted. 

 

And I liked Barack Obama, because, well, what’s not to like about the guy, though I was cautious due to never having a trustworthy politician in my lifetime.  Ever listen to his speeches?  This is the stuff history is made of.  This is the good hearted president OF the people, for the people.  Blows me away.  (unless, of course it’s all a scam)

 

And no offense to my republican parents, or any other republicans out there, but ever since I could read and understand simple ideas of ethics and morals, the republican party was not for me.  Not to say that democrats are moral ethic beings, but they tend to at least take into consideration the lives of those not living in Bel Air Mansions and getting botoxed till their foreheads fall off.

 

So it was either Hillary, or Obama.  Funny how it’s  not Clinton and Obama, or Hillary and Barack…

 

And so I payed attention to the race, watched the debates, read news everyday, listened to commentary on the radio.  

And now, I don’t like the strong woman figure.  She annoys me , she lies, she seems desperate and she plays dirty.  In other words, she is a true politician.  Obama has the influence to move young voters out of their political coma.  He has the charm to woo thinking republicans out from their lairs.  He has the common sense to make the rest of Washington freak out because if he does become president, which it keeps looking more and more like he will, he is going to make all those super-rich, super-comfortable, super-funded, super-elitist folks have to change their lifestyles and stop doing the dishonest things that have plagued the upper ranks of government since before my Grandpappy made it through the depresssion and met my Grandmother and got married in Tijuana (I have the photo- they are sitting on a donkey/burro, wearing sombreros and looking ever so slightly touristy under the “we got married in tijuana” banner)

So what do those politicians do?

Dirty stuff. 

Dirty dirty childish stuff.

Oooo he’s muslim cause his name isn’t John or Bob or Fred, and he spent time as a child in a place where they’re not like “us”   (whatever the singular “us” may be)(white maybe?)

Oooo he’s gonna not answer the phone at 3 am because it takes decades of practice to make solid decision making on the issues that matter (like voting for the war)

 

So here’s Obama, deflecting left and right the attacks, negative ads, and weird made up shit. (and all the while, doing it with a down to earth, eloquent manner)

And there’s Hillary, “mis-speaking” about laid back trips to Bosnia, she’s going back and forth on issues she hated back then, but now loves, because it’s popular, and makes her look good.

Attacking others for not denouncing friends who say unpopular things (that were taken way out of context, and when listened to in whole, made me proud to live here) and then casually saying that you cant be held reliable when someone on your campaign says some racist things…

Here, she is throwing back shots in a great publicized presidential matter.  

I think that about sums it up.

 

That’s great.  I know who I will be voting for, unless he too is a fraud, which a part of me is still paranoid of due to scandals, lies, and so much corruption.  And if he is just a grand facade with ill intentions hiding beneath his friendly smile, well shit.  Maybe I should move to Canada.

 

food!

April 9, 2008

You know it’s that time of month when you want to leave work, curl up on the couch and eat all day.

Seems like so far today, I’ve been sitting in front of the computer, eating.

 

Breakfast: gone

Snack: gone

Other snack: gone

Piece of candy: gone

Box of Andes Mints: 2 left!

 

Yes, that was an entire box of Andes Mints.

Minty Chocolately goodness, psychologically melting away my cramps and crabbiness.

 

And it hasn’t even been 2 hours…

 

6 to go…