the skinny

May 1, 2008

I’ve always been self concious about my body- since high school.

Before that, I was always stick thin and riding my bike for hours a day in the summers, playing softball with my dad and kickball with the dog.  Then puberty made me metabolize a bit differently and I filled out a bit.  Now I’ve always been lean and thin (family traits) and for the last 10-15 years I’ve had a BMI around 19-22. (more 22 now).

I realize some people would kill for this BMI and it doesnt come easy to most, but I find it hard to appreciate my body and love it for it’s shape and tall slenderness.  I still feel fat. I hate the cellulite dimples on my butt and thighs, I hate how my belly sides squish over the top of my freshly washed jeans.  I feel fat.

Why?

In college I took a sociology of women class, and most of the class we focused on the media and how it shapes our self images of us as we grow up.  Unconsciously. 

It has become more apparent to me as I have grown older.  But I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’m supposed to look like these girls, who undoubtedly look sickly thin and malnourished. 

 

It’s quite sad really.

 

 

 

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